This is a joke Wiki where things are supposed to be funny. WARNING – Some things may not be funny, this is more than likely a problem with your sense of humor, if tubs and toasters sounds uncomfortable your just gonna have to deal with it. Some parts are definitely not mine while some are from major movies titles that have somehow woven there way into my head manifesting as legal threats. If you have more lawyer complaints please call 1-800-F187-Y69 and leave a message, if your on hold too long try 1-800-E57-S122.
I made this Joke Wiki with Guides, FAQ’s, Tips and Tricks because I’m just starting to realize most of these rich elite are scary clowns with too much money and no brains or values, life feels like a big joke, we got dis hard jokes here too, sorry to the elite, sorry your stupid!
I also have the holy grail of jokes, another wonder #8, wouldn’t believe me if I told you twice, everything you didn’t want to know about your mom. Be strong grasshopper, there’s a lot of crazy stuff in the world and your moms probably doing a couple things on the list, that was harsh I’m sorry, sorry for your mom!
When I feel happy I tell jokes, this may happen a few hours each week so check back for more jokes.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris kicks so hard plasma fly’s out his rear and why he’s always had free energy. He was the first premature baby to kick his way out of the womb and that’s where they got the idea for Aliens chest bursters. Chuck won’t sue because it’s good advertising, obviously a smart move. Hold on a second my phones ringing I’ll be right back. I’m back and you want believe it, apparently I’m now getting sued by Chuck Norris, the verdicts in, and my bank account has been emptied from huge fines. Hold on a sec someones knockin at the door be right back. I’m back, whole bunch of people just walked right in, guess Chucks lawyers are taking everything. Outside now? Thanks officer
Chuck Norris is so fast when he’s at home and the power goes out he still has enough time to cook dinner, vacuum, hack the CIA headquarters with a normal usb charger, save a baby, rob a bank, then catch himself for a reward all over the phone, stick his thumb in a light socket, stick other things in a light socket, then replacing all light fixtures, recharge a dead cell phone battery… 10 times then get bored and quit. Obviously this never happened because everything hes around has free energy, though he does hack the CIA with a drawing of a paper clip on the same day every year.
Your Moms Cheats
You moms so fat if she worked at Google they’d have to change the name to Gooogle.
Your moms so stupid.
Your moms such a bad cook I wouldn’t let her make me a sandwich.
Maybe if your mom was smarter I would tell some positive jokes. Oh wait, your moms Chuck Norris with a sex change? I’ll tell nicer jokes about YOUR mom starting now, everyone but Chick.
You moms so nice she got a job as Oprah’s assistant and donate her whole paycheck to charity, then sleeps under a bridge at night.
That felt good to say something nice about someones moms for once. Better not come out the gate too hard though, baby steps, progress not perfection.
Your moms so ugly that when you look at her face you don’t get a negative vibe you get radiation burns.
You dads so fat if he worked at Google they’d have to change the name to G∞gle.
You dads so skinny that if he worked at Google they’d change the name to |.
A pig fell in the mud, then it slept in it’s own waste.
Insert racist joke here
A Color Wheel
Something that looks different than something else.
A couple of you just burn my bridge for your whole ethnicity.
I don’t like dogs with spots.
Star Wars Jokes
Is that a lightsaber or are you just happy to see me?
3 Jedi walk into a bar. The first one says “Freeze, this is a stickup!”
Why did the Jedi cross the road? Because he was Luke Crosswalker.
Why are Jedi bad assassins? Lightsabers don’t have silencers.
Why did R2-D2 cross the road? To get to it’s X-Wing.
Why does R2-D2 drive an X-Wing? To get the smarter robots.
How does R2-D2 know when it has found the one? When sparks fly.
Why can’t R2-D2 go deep sea diving? It’s only water proof up to 100 meters.
How long does it take to comb a Chewbacca? Depends on how many dangle berries they have.
What does a Chewbacca look liked shaved? An Ewok on stilts that’s shaved.
How does a Chewbacca eat food? They chew it.
Whoever said sticks and stones will break your bones and words will never hurt you was wrong cause I can hurt people with words for sure. Your dead, your dead, your cool your dead.
Never point a loaded finger at someone, they could get their brains pointed out.
Joke Guide & Walkthrough
Anything can be a joke, its what you say last, the hook. This also works good in situations where you just got done saying horrible things to someones face, then it’s called the retreat or please don’t leave me or I’m sorry 50 IQ officer stop shooting me. Exercise by trying to make everything a joke, EVERYTHING has a funny side and it all goes when nobody can hear you. For live shows know when to be respectful or you might loose some teeth… or get shot, I live in Compton, lying is good too.